quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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