in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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