Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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