Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
