Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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