Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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