I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
