whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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