I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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