we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Your penis caused this!
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