I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
