Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize