"it" just moved
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So much Jack, so little girl.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
