So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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