Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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