Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She's the barista slut.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
