I faked an abortion last night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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