i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize