so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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