I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
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Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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