Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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