If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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