I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
