Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
