all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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