he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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