1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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