READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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