Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
