walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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