I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
