I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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