just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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