yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's never too late to be topless.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
