he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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