i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
