I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
