its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
