Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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