Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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