I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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