The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
