I cockslap morals
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
