That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
