It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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