my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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