Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
