guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
