am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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