You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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