Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
