I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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