A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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