Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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