I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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