Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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