Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
