I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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