At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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