I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
