so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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