I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
