we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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