Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize