we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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