good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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