He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
