Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
