ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
