WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
