the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
